


late in autumn

by talesofeden



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3! Rarepairs Week 2020, Jealousy, M/M, Spoilerish, yuki is mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25243474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofeden/pseuds/talesofeden
Summary: Some people have special bonds, like Taichi and Yuki. And some people think about how, if things went a little different, they could have these memories with someone, like Azami.But in the end it is the present that matters, isn't it?Written for A3! Rarepairs Week 2020, Day 1: Jealousy
Relationships: Izumida Azami/Nanao Taichi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26
Collections: A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020





	late in autumn

"...Well, I definitely didn’t see that one coming. But it’s such an uncommon name that I doubt it could be anyone else." 

Azami wasn't really sure if he was saying that to Taichi or himself, probably both. 

They stood together on the dorm's balcony. Since the lounge was quite packed with people today Taichi wanted them to talk here, rather than inside. He told him right away when his mother texted back. 

It was nice of Taichi's mom, she looked through all the old New Year's cards to find the name of their old neighbors. Sakyo would never do something like that without knowing exactly why. Not like Azami had any first crushes he could look back on, of course! That kind of thing shouldn't matter in his life until he at least graduated university.

However, in the end these neighbors turned out to be Yuki's family, leaving Taichi's first crush to be no one but… Yuki Rurikawa.

Looking back on it, it couldn't have been more obvious. So really, why was he shocked?  
Yuki-chan, a cute little girl, that talked about herself like a boy. Every detail Taichi mentioned about his crush fit a certain costume designer in their troupe perfectly. 

But at least Azami wasn't the only one who was surprised. Taichi was fidgeting around even more than usual and his cheeks had turned a bit of a rosy color. Looking at it in the sunlight, the color kind of suited him...

"Agreed. I was so surprised… Ah, but make sure you keep this a secret between you and me, A-chan." 

If he applied a little of the new blush that recently arrived the color could stand out even more… Maybe he could try that in the future. There were also fancier looks he would like to try on Taichi but-

The redhead didn't notice Azami's mental absence and just went on talking.

"It’s so embarrassing I’m going to take this to my grave," he grumbled as he kicked a pebble stone around, that somehow found its way onto the balcony. 

Realizing that he barely heard half of what his co-actor said Azami mumbled an "Ah, gotcha.", before he fell back into silence. 

For a while they just quietly leaned on the balustrade, watching the ordinary life pass by on the street. On a day like this a lot of people were outside, running errands, walking their dog or just enjoying the last truly sunny weeks of the year. 

Azami noticed that Taichi's expression had shifted from his previous embarrassed face.  
His eyes were staring into the nothingness, and if it was anyone but Azami looking at him, they probably wouldn't have noticed that besides the frown there was also a faint smile on his face.

As if Taichi had read his thoughts he opened his mouth to answer a question that hadn't even been asked out loud. 

"Y'know… my first crush was watching me all this time, huh… How I was at my worst, and how I changed from there on." 

Ah, he was still thinking about Yuki. Of course. This realization must have been even more shocking for him, after all. That the person he used to like saw him at his absolute lowest. 

Azami couldn't say that of himself. To be honest, he couldn't imagine Taichi as anything but the energetic boy, who was always eager to help and trying his best, no matter how many times he watched his portrait. 

"I ruined the costumes during our debut performance, apologized, and helped out with costume making starting then...." Taichi continued, as he remembered the first time he helped Yuki with sewing. 

So much had happened since then.  
His whole life changed, and Yuki definitely played a big role in it. As both his co-actor and his friend. 

Watching Taichi with this uncharacteristic look of nostalgia on his face, Azami felt something stinging. A pain from within that reminded him of all the things that he couldn't do for Taichi, because he wasn't in his life yet. All the things that someone else had done instead. 

He didn't have a name for this feeling, but he almost wished Taichi would stop talking when he opened his mouth again.  
These were stupid thoughts. Taichi wasn't any more special than the rest of his troupe mates. He really wasn't. Right?

"I tried to change in this troupe... he saw all that. Thinking about that gives me really mixed feelings." 

The last sentence brought back a bit of his initial embarrassed blush.  
Paired with the sentimental expression, Taichi really looked like the embodiment of "mixed feelings". 

The other boy wanted to reply with something that could reassure him but he didn't know what to say. He has never been good with words or comforting people but right now not even a single word came to his mind.  
Everytime he started forming a sentence the feeling, that was pulling on his insides stopped him. There was no way he could open his mouth now without sounding at least a bit bitter. So he asked the only question he could think of, that wouldn't reveal his feelings.

"Are you going to tell him about your past?" 

Taichi froze for a second.  
The question brought back his usual self. While scratching the back of his head he nervously laughed,  
"Nope. I’d be embarrassed if he remembered my tiny crybaby past, and I’m really happy we get along now." 

That's understandable, Azami thought. He wouldn't want Sakyo to tell the other Mankai members how he was as a child either. Though sometimes he still made those remarks. That shitty old man.

Yuki didn't even know how lucky he was to be the one with those memories. Those were moments Taichi shared with no one but him. 

Trying to get rid of these selfish, stupid, inappropriate, completely ridiculous thoughts Azami shook his head. He's not denying to care for Taichi. He does. A normal amount. And maybe a tiny bit more than that. 

Still, they weren't talking to drive Azami into a corner about his own feelings. The point was to make Taichi gain confidence in himself. And it happened to be by proving himself to his first crush.  
Since they actually managed to locate said crush there wasn't a lot left to say, was there? Nothing that Azami was ready to admit at least.

"But now that you know, there’s one thing you have to do." The black haired boy pointed out aloud. 

"Eh?" Taichi seemed genuinely confused before the realization set in, a few moments later. 

"O- of course, I'm definitely gonna do it today! This will already be harder than expected, eh…"  
As he said that Taichi vividly imagined what Yuki's reactions might be. 

Maybe he was already busy during their opening show. Sewing, planning, studying or- 

Or maybe he just wouldn't want to see it.  
"Why would I bother watching a crappy actor like you?" The voice of an imaginary Yuki asked. The real one wouldn't say that to him. Or so he thought.

"You're not asking him out on a date or anything. Quit worrying about it so much." Azami stuttered on the word "date" like he just mentioned masturbation at a family dinner and his voice sounded slightly irritated.  
The latter was hard to tell apart from his usual grumpy tone but it was definitely there, these words had a bitter echo. He noticed it himself too.

The older boy tried to ignore the notion Azami's voice carried. He was probably just getting tired of hearing him ramble. 

"You're right, A-chan! I'm just getting worked up for nothing, right?" 

Said "A-chan" just grumbled an inaudible "Yeah, sure." to continue his unending inner monologue. 

There was no reason for him to be bothered by any of the things Taichi said. None of them should be a problem. They weren't. Not Taichi, not Yuki and not their friendship either. Azami himself got along with Yuki pretty good. Yuki was one of the few people in Mankai, who cared for their skin decently most of the time and they could bond over their interests. He would even dare calling him a close friend. 

Yet, he had something Azami could never obtain. A past with Taichi.  
And no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that this wasn't the point, everytime he remembered it the stinging feeling in his chest returned. 

He liked Taichi a normal amount. And probably a lot more than that. But today was not the time he was going to admit that.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh so. i apologize for any grammar errors in this (english isnt my native language and i have one braincell). if you liked this um.. thank you so much?!?? seriously thanks for reading!
> 
> i thought about making a long fic where this serves as the prologue but i dont know if i that will ever be a thing so yeah i will see.


End file.
